I was feeling that I wasn’t behaving as hijabis should, I greet my colleagues, parts of my hair can be visible most of the time (it is usually for my lack of expertise to wear it).
Plus I was tired of being observed by people in all the places I am (I live in Colombia) it is also very uncomfortable for me that the people next to me is observed because of how I look.
Then I decided to take it off. But before leaving the house I questioned the reasons behind my decision of wearing it 2 years ago.
The reason was pleasing Allah SWT (exalted is He).
So why I am deciding to taking it off?
Who am I trying to please or to impress?
What’s the purpose of my life and the consciousness about the next?
Then I decided to put it on. Because it is not about my ego (nafs) nor about the opinion of others, even if they’re close to me.
I am existing because of Allah, I am grateful for all the things He gives me, and I don’t deserve.
So I will do my best, my so imperfect best to please Him. Trying to improve everyday, knowing that faith and commitment have crises, but are possible to handle if I remember the purpose of my life: pleasing my Creator.
Living your purpose is not usually easy, but to me is the key to happiness and success